It’s time for World Series baseball! The 162 game long baseball season has concluded and we’ve wandered our way through 3 weeks of post season play to arrive at the Fall Classic. This year we’ve got the Tampay Bay Rays from the American League versus the Philadelphia Phillies in the National League. The Rays have never before had a winning season, have about 4000 to 7000 fans nationwide, and last year changed their name from Devil Rays to avoid offending Christians. The Phillies are one of the oldest teams in baseball, have lost more games over this time than any other sports franchise in history, and their logo is a P. The Phillies and Rays beat out the Dodgers and Red Sox, teams that people actually care about, for their spots in the World Series to the chagrin of Fox, because the ratings will be in the toilet.
Announcers have become a mainstay of broadcast sports. So much so that at any given game you will often find a drunken fool pretending to be one in the seat behind you. The World Series is the biggest week of baseball all season and displays this even with it’s announcing staff. Let’s meet them.
Katie (Kat) the Woman. Katie is a pregame announcer who doesn’t get to talk about the actual game events. Her job is to be an interviewer for other pregame talking heads and to represent the existence of female fans. Unfortunately, Katie has a face like a catcher’s mitt. Everyone calls her Kat because they’re not used to multi-syllabic names.
Mark the washed up hitter. Mark has a wildness in his eyes brought on by lasting withdrawl from steroids and amphetamines. He’s too big for the suit he wears and his expressions make him look like a train crazy. He’s supposed to tell you about the game from a player’s perspective but he can’t remember and he never makes sense.
Dennis the former pitcher. Dennis used to be an important name in pitching. He tells the listeners all about the pitcher’s perspective while carefully making it clear that nothing is ever the pitcher’s fault. He rarely says anything worth listening to. He has a mustache.
Joe with the good voice. Joe Good Voice has been talking about baseball his whole life. With a really good voice. He does “color” announcing during the game and post game and has more to say about the game than the pregame buffoons who actually played professional baseball.
Tim the old man. Tim’s job is to announce the play by play of the game. He is usually telling stories and helping Joe add some color. Tim is supposed to be doing play by play because he’s been grandfathered in to the job and has lovable catch phrases for home runs like “It’s outta here!”
Now that we’ve met everyone, let’s take a look at the announcing highlights of the 2008 World Series:
Pre Game:
Kat:We’re here in Florida for the first game of the 2008 World Series between the Tampa Bay Rays and Philadelphia Phillies. These two teams have fought so hard to get here. Mark, what’s your take on this series?
Mark: Well Kat, this is the biggest stage in baseball, I mean this is the WORLD SERIES. These two teams have fought so hard to get here and this is where all that hard work pays off. This is the biggest stage in baseball and you’ve got to know they’ve worked so hard to get here.
Dennis: You’re really right, Mark, it’s a long road to get here and you know they’ve got to be enjoying this post season glory.
Kat: The Phillies finished off the Los Angeles Dodgers in just 5 games, how does that prepare them for this series?
Mark: Well the Phillies are a strong team. They’ve got the best hitter in the game right now in Ryan Howard. Ryan’s such good hitter he can really hit the ball anywhere, left field, right field, out of the park, the moon. I’d like to go to the moon.
Kat: Ryan Howard, so far hitless in this 2008 post season. His manager says Howard will come around.
Dennis: The Phillies also have Cole Hamels, one of baseball’s best and most exciting young pitchers. You know, I’ve got to say, I think Cole Hamels is probably the best pitcher to ever walk the earth. He’s pitching tonight and the Rays will have a hard time against him.
Mark: Oh yeah, Hamels is nasty. When you’re in the batter’s box against him you’re not comfortable hitting. You just want to get the at bat over with and get back to the bench with your buddies and say: “Man, that guy is nasty.” Like when we used to face you, Dennis.
Dennis: (laughing) Oh I don’t think I was ever as good as Cole Hamels. He’s dreamy.
Kat: Okay then. How about the Rays?
Mark: You’ve gotta respect the Rays. They’re a really young team. They came into the previous round and finished off the Red Sox. These guys are so young they’re not used to the spotlight. They weren’t intimidated because some of these young guys don’t realize how much pressure there is. A really strong ball club, Kat, full of young players.
Dennis: Yeah, lots of these young guys are really talented. Scott Kazmir, he’s been pitching a few years now but still in his early 20s. Their manager talks all the time about the fire these young guys bring to the game.
Kat: They showed a lot of power and confidence facing off the Red Sox, finishing the game in 7 games and many games appearing to be in control of that powerful Red Sox team we all wish had gotten here instead.
Mark: Oh definitely. The Red Sox are a great team. Lots of people picked them to win the World Series this year, since they won last year. But I like these Rays. They’re a really young team. Their manager talks all the time about the fire these young guys bring to the game.
Dennis: Are you just repeating things I said now?
Kat: Well that’s it for our pregame show! It’s time for the World Series here in Florida! Joe? Tim?
Join us again Monday when Joe and Tim present their art of telling you about what you’re seeing on your TV.
