It’s time for World Series baseball! The 162 game long baseball season has concluded and we’ve wandered our way through 3 weeks of post season play to arrive at the Fall Classic. This year we’ve got the Tampay Bay Rays from the American League versus the Philadelphia Phillies in the National League. The Rays have never before had a winning season, have about 4000 to 7000 fans nationwide, and last year changed their name from Devil Rays to avoid offending Christians. The Phillies are one of the oldest teams in baseball, have lost more games over this time than any other sports franchise in history, and their logo is a P. The Phillies and Rays beat out the Dodgers and Red Sox, teams that people actually care about, for their spots in the World Series to the chagrin of Fox, because the ratings will be in the toilet.
Announcers have become a mainstay of broadcast sports. So much so that at any given game you will often find a drunken fool pretending to be one in the seat behind you. The World Series is the biggest week of baseball all season and displays this even with it’s announcing staff. Let’s meet them.
Katie (Kat) the Woman. Katie is a pregame announcer who doesn’t get to talk about the actual game events. Her job is to be an interviewer for other pregame talking heads and to represent the existence of female fans. Unfortunately, Katie has a face like a catcher’s mitt. Everyone calls her Kat because they’re not used to multi-syllabic names.
Mark the washed up hitter. Mark has a wildness in his eyes brought on by lasting withdrawl from steroids and amphetamines. He’s too big for the suit he wears and his expressions make him look like a train crazy. He’s supposed to tell you about the game from a player’s perspective but he can’t remember and he never makes sense.
Dennis the former pitcher. Dennis used to be an important name in pitching. He tells the listeners all about the pitcher’s perspective while carefully making it clear that nothing is ever the pitcher’s fault. He rarely says anything worth listening to. He has a mustache.
Joe with the good voice. Joe Good Voice has been talking about baseball his whole life. With a really good voice. He does “color” announcing during the game and post game and has more to say about the game than the pregame buffoons who actually played professional baseball.
Tim the old man. Tim’s job is to announce the play by play of the game. He is usually telling stories and helping Joe add some color. Tim is supposed to be doing play by play because he’s been grandfathered in to the job and has lovable catch phrases for home runs like “It’s outta here!”
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