Post #2 — 48 Days to Go — Madness Setting In
Last week I had a conversation with my Editor no one wants to have. It went something like this:
Krumble: So … that post you put up, I think —
Me: It sucks! I’m sorry. It really sucks. It sucks, sucks, sucks.
Krumble: — it could use a little tightening. And more … I don’t know … funny?
Not being someone to back down from my principles, I immediately deleted the post and attempted to commit hari kiri. Thankfully, the lack of any sufficiently sharp objects prevented me from opening my stomach.
Wait, I thought you were some kind of author or something. At least, I heard you got paid to write once?
Oh, you mean in fourth grade, when I wrote Robert K — ‘s book report on Bunnicula without reading it for $5? He got a C. (Impressive, for only knowing the title of the book, and well worth what he paid for it.)
To be honest, my brush with death wasn’t brought on solely by my failures as an author, and not by WordPress’s strange hate-hate relationship with strike-through text (which, God-willing, I will never be called upon to use again, so long as the Sun burns in the sky) — no — it was the sudden realization that a good number of my fellow Americans seemed to be buying the Sarah Palin horseshit that John McCain and his campaign were selling as Turkey dinner. Mmm … mmm … good!
So, why should I care enough to stick a short dagger into my stomach, cut laterally, and spill my intestines into my hand for a death agony that lasts until someone who cares deeply for me slices my head off with one clean stroke of the sharpest Samurai steel?
You should care because John McCain is “fundamentally a de-regulator” by his own admission, and someone who “does not know much about the economy.” He’s someone who makes decisions from his gut, and out of spite, and with a determination toward his goal that causes him to abandon any and all principles he may ever have had. Which is not to say he much had them, tossing over his first wife in an adulterous affair with a well-connected heiress, accepting bribes to deregulate the Savings and Loan industry (see how that went), who welcomes war with Iran (bomb-bomb-bomb Iran … to the tune of the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann” which dates my musical tastes to the Pleistocene), who probably doesn’t even have four years left in him (why won’t he, 70-some-odd-years-old, melanoma afflicted, tortured man, release his medical records … anyone? … anyone?), which leads me to the final crux of matters which may have driven me over the edge, means we’re just about guaranteed to wind up with President Sarah Palin, which up until a few days ago, seemed to have been an idea that actually made people happy!
Phew! … So, why should I care?
To be continued…
September 17th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Ben, this is your editor. I want you to add reference links for the things that you mention in your post about McCain. Also, there is a Tantō on my desk. We take Hari Kari seriously here.